SoulfillExpressions

‘ Shiv . I don;t know where my life will take me now . I also don;t know after this whether you will talk to me or not ..but I want to share something ., said Shivanshi today .

‘ Sure , Shiv said.

That day when you denied my proposal and I had a bad anxiety attack , and I cried bitterly but then something struck me – a deep internal monologue went where I asked myself why am I torturing myself emotionally . That day Shiraj called and asked me to come for an offline session which was due for a long time .

And I did go this time . It was a nice cosy place . Guitars all round and he played beautiful music at the background. I melted away – slowly and gradually as he touched me everywhere gently …it was first ever gentle touch I had experienced . Soothing for the body , my eyes closed all the time but my mind thinking only about you – your words ran subconsciously like anything and that was the day when I realised that you have made a place in my heart which no one can now easily overtake.

Shiv , I know you may think adveresely of me but then this is who I am Shiv – when I love , I love passionately with all my heart.

This is who I am = today before you – metaphorically , emotionally naked – embracing all my vulnerabiloties , weaknesses , embracing all my shadows – This is who I am Shiv behind the mask , This is who I am .

You might or might not like this but I realised that day my expression is utter importance and sacred and important for me , at least for me if not for anyone else .

‘ Shiv heard… freezed. ..not knowing what to say ..

; Shivanshi , I don’t know what to say now – but yes it takes a lot of courage for what you have said and I am happy you have gathered a lot of courage to embrace and express yourself.

Thanks , said Shivanshi ,

; Shiv have you ever wondered that may be we crossed paths as mirrors to the kinds of lives we deserved . We , average people with extraordinary skills who just accept an average life just because we are bound in conditions , bound in norms and inhibited to accept our own shadow self !!

Shiv , if you are not able to move to the film industry because you are hesitant or ashamed of certain part of yours or if you are afraid that you will lose yourself then I am a living testimony to the fact that nothing like this happens , If we are very strong in the sense of self who we are then nobody can destry us, I am still compassionate towards my family , still surrendered to service , still trying to hold my family , still with the same dreams alive ..Shiv , nothing will change – neither you will lose yourself . Go and get all of life .you deserve it !

There was a long silence on the call and the conversation ended with gentle goodbyes

;